I have often wondered why the universe seems to have such a problem with me, like what did I do in a previous life to annoy it so much that I deserve all this recent nonsense in payback?
It must have been something really, really terrible.
It seems, that in every situation where there could be a good experience, an average experience, a testing experience or a bad experience. The universe only ever chooses the bad experience for me and this makes every day incredibly hard work.
Why is this?! What is the reason for making everything into a struggle?
There are so many examples I could share here with you here to highlight this.
Obviously, there is the whole Him situation, which clearly turned out to have the worst possible outcome. Then, despite not seeing him for around 3 months, when I did bump into him, I did so three times. In one day. THREE times. In ONE day. For goodness sake! It was like either he was doing it on purpose (which feels very unlikely) or the universe just really wanted me to get the message that he still isn’t dead ( Shame – he is to me ), and that he still wanders around in my spaces without a care in the world despite his disgraceful behaviour.
Work. Work is unnecessarily trying at the moment, even when I put in extra hours in an attempt to get ahead, everyone seems to want to take the option that is either the most difficult or the one which includes me doing the most work. Neither of which feel appealing to me in the slightest. Can’t we work together to make it happen in the easiest way? Does it have to be difficult really?
The kids also appear to be on a mission to make things at home as chaotic and loud and argumentative as they can possibly be. To the point where I might have to stop talking to them altogether, however impractical and non maternal that may appear! Why can’t everyone just do what they are asked the first time? Why does everyone have to cry and shout all the time ( including me), what’s the need for all the drama? Can’t we just have a few weeks where everything is calm and we live in a state of mutual respect and harmony – is that really too much to ask?!
Even the past has been turning up (everywhere) recently. I was watching TV at home the other evening when my high school boyfriend appears at the window and knocks on the door. Of course this is the one day I’ve changed into cosy clothes and I’m eating pizza alone in a house that hadn’t been tidied since the kids went to bed. He announces he is moving round the corner (with his wife and three kids!) and saw me whilst running past. Brilliant. Just Brilliant – not even my living room is safe these days!
Come on universe, work with me here. Give me a break for a bit, please. Just let me have the easier way for a while whilst my heart heals, OK?