Blogger · dating · life story · Love

Is the grass greener?

Is it human nature to always think that the grass is greener?

Are we actually all essentially just about the thrill of the chase?

Do we all really just want what we don’t have, but some of us are able to suppress these feelings and feel happy and content with our lot? Whilst others go on a rampage of self-indulgence?

My ex-husband certainly thought he would be better off without me. Turns out he is even more miserable now. I am not that happy either. That really didn’t work out how either of us planned I don’t think.

I was chatting to a guy yesterday who admitted that his ‘grass is greener’ syndrome goes as far as if he goes out he wishes he stayed home, and if he stays home he wishes he’d gone out! Now I guess we all sometimes question our choices but are we as humans just all so spoilt now that nothing is ever satisfying?

In relationships this happens. All. The. Time.

It happened to Him ( almost daily it seems!) but fundamentally he adored being with me. Until he could be with me. Then he lost interest. And found someone else who seemed, at first, unobtainable. This was his MO ( even before me) pick the girl in a relationship, the challenge is to get her to move away from it. When she does – BORING! Next! He thrived on the secrecy and the lies and the challenge that all the women and their circumstances brought him. The prize was all the sweeter when he isn’t supposed to have it. I wonder how bored he is now he just has the one? Though I assume he is still working hard to get her to forgive his behaviour so there might still be some winning over required. He will soon lose interest when it no longer comes with any thrill of the chase though, I am sure.

Is this also why people get drawn in so quick and so fast to online relationships with people they have never even met? Is it purely down to the excitement, the fantasy the thrill of the online chase. ….. Is that what makes it so intense? I have been shocked to find out how many extra marital relationships are going on online and how fast they seem to develop, that’s not to say I am judging these people. It’s a personal choice that I totally understand and respect, if both parties know exactly where they stand then that’s all cool by me. I just wonder how many of those would actually become a real life thing if both of them suddenly became available? Does the thrill of it all continue if you meet in real life? With all that fantasy, would real life ever meet up to your high expectations? Or would it be boring and mundane and actually not be as fun anymore?

Ever since I started writing about my life experiences and love and relationships in general, I have wondered, are relationship norms shifting? Are less and less people going to have a traditional long term relationship with one partner? Are we actually now just out to find the person that fits at that time and actually holding up our hands and saying we want to move on to someone else throughout our lives will become the most common thing? Will a successful relationship just last 2 or 3 or 4 years rather than a lifetime? Will we no longer see break ups as failure? Rather just everyone evolving and moving forwards?

I am an old style romantic at heart, although it’s been beaten out of me a bit in the last year or so. I would love to meet the right person. But I am open to any type of relationship I think, the deciding factor for me is that both people in it know all the information. No more lies. No more deceit. No more manipulation. I am a grown up. I can make an informed choice about any kind of relationship, but I need to have all the information to do so.

But going forwards I would really like to know, Do you ever get to a point where you are so incredibly content with your life and your love that you stop looking and wondering what else might be out there for you? Or will we always be cursed with FOMO*?

*Fear of missing out

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9 thoughts on “Is the grass greener?

  1. That makes me feel worse if no one wants to be monogamous anymore. I personally would like to leave this world right now if that’s how it is. It grosses me out and pisses me off all at the same time. I think my go will be to get as fat and ugly as I can so those who have no interest in staying can go ahead and pass me on up. I have dealt with enough people leaving my life and I’ll be damned if I going to open myself up so more people can leave me. I hate this fucking world.

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    1. I’m really sorry to hear you’re having a tough time right now. All I can say is this is just my person experience of life at the moment. I’m sure there are lots of people who still maintain the values you do and you should never give up on searching for it. Hang in there

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      1. It’s not your fault and I’m sorry if I implied that it was. It’s just something that triggered pain in me. People always leave and I don’t understand why anyone would search or long for that. I’ll love you for now but not forever that is sad to me.

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      2. It is sad. But it is better to have loved and lost. The thrill of love, even in the short term is like the best of all the drugs. I’ll keep the faith in the hope of finding that again. And who knows where it might take me.

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  2. Not to brag, but I’m extremely happy/content right now. I don’t experience FOMO though and my mindset when it comes to the saying “The grass is always greener” is that it’s only greener because it’s been fertilized with manure (i.e. bull shit). I feel sorry for those who constantly feel like they have to continue to ‘look’ for happiness instead of appreciating what they have; it sounds exhausting.

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  3. Yet another good blog. Some good points and also some good questions! I think the trouble is everything in this world changes and evolves including people. I think the thing is you dont just meet someone and get to know everything about them it takes time! Sometimes people don’t always give themselves that time for many different reasons! Sometimes right away that person is great for you maybe, some of the time, until you maybe bump into someone oneday who seems even better, who ticks even more boxes which is where the dilemma starts! Do you stick or twist if your a person who doesn’t want to be greedy or if you are then have your cake and eat it! I don’t think there is any real definitive answer! Thanks for sharing once again. It is appreciated x

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