Would we all be better if relationships were more varied, If there were more options?
So, to give you some context, I have been watching this show on TLC called ‘Seeking Sister Wives’ this is following on from my long standing fascination with ‘My 4 Wives’ (Kody Brown – YouTube tells me not all is well now? ! We are very behind in the UK!)
Anyway, it seems to me like the practice of Polygamy is no longer restricted to those who follow some fundamentalist version of the Latter Day Saints, that it is not just the extreme Mormon faith that is driving people to make this lifestyle choice. Does this signify a shift in what society tells us is the right kind of relationships?
This got me thinking – I have shared with you in the past about the fact that I am never usually ‘enough’ in relationships ( Read it here I’m just not enough ( to love) ) and in the past I have always been passed over for a younger, thinner, more fun, more available, less available, less complicated ( need I go on? ) model. Maybe, just maybe if I didn’t have to be EVERYTHING to one man then I would be enough? In the show the husband always comments on the fact that he gets different things from different wives, he does not go looking for the whole package in one person – maybe this is my relationship saviour?!
Ok, so the answer is NO. Absolutely not for me. I don’t think I could stand it to be honest. The wives appear so happy on the outside but you just know ( and sometimes they say) the jealousy is a huge problem for them, and why wouldn’t it be. You meet a man who you want to marry and you only get him on a rotating system throughout the week, what if you have a terrible day but it’s not your night? Devastating that must be. Not to mention the fact that every time a new baby is on the way ( and there seems to be lots of kids in these families ) it is the result of the man you love being intimate with someone else.
I know lots of people look on these kinds of relationships as very sexist and that women aren’t treated fairly, and although I agree that is the case in some of the old fashioned FLDS situations ( don’t even get me started on Warren Jeffs) it seems to me like men and women together are making the choice of this kind of lifestyle in order to enhance their relationships and families. Good luck to them .
It’s not for me, I am please to see that finally relationships of different kinds are being highlighted as options for wider communities – I’ll just keep looking for my Mr Right and hope he comes unattached!