To move on?
Firstly, I must apologise. I have been AWOL for a significant amount of time and I’m sorry. I never intended to be gone so long. But I found it increasingly difficult for the words to come.
My whole blog was because I was living the perfect life. But I didn’t want it. I moved on then, exploring love and relationships generally, I love the idea of love. That one day a stranger can walk into your life and everything can change. I still am, really quite the romantic.
But then life as I knew it stopped dead. I was no longer welcome in the perfect life, of which I had spent such a long time willing to escape. The perfect house was sold. The perfect situation ceased to exist.
And I had to find a way to move on and to live again.
Well, actually firstly I had to find a way to survive. Do the practical stuff. Get a lawyer, buy a house. Try not to completely screw up the children. Abandon the relationships and situations that didn’t matter and focus solely on the ones that did.
I have stripped out all the negativity ( I let my mother stay – she has good days and bad days but she does her best ) I have built a new home. It’s pretty nice. It’s small. It’s comfortable. It’s all mine. Every room shows me and my taste and no one else’s. I have worked hard for that home, and I will have to for the next 35 years too.
I am thinking of where to go from here. I am waiting for a sign that it is time to live again, it would be great if someone came and issued you a permit, ‘I hereby permit you to live again, the love again, to make your own life choices again’
Then you would know, without a doubt. The turning point is here and now. Go left or right, you decide. Just plough forwards and don’t look back……
What’s the worst that can happen? ?