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Does the passion cause the fight?

Is it only in relationships that are filled with passion where you experience arguments?

Because in the past, I’ve not really had the need to argue. I can’t decide if this is because we got on so well that we never had anything to fall out about ( I doubt this  very much ) or it is because neither of us actually cared enough to have the energy to argue. Instead we  would both just quietly fume, then forget it and that would be it. Because lets face it, it is never than important.

But recently I have been experiencing a whole new phenomenon. That’s the dash straight into to a mega argument on the basis on one misused phrase or one minor confusion, which could be easily explained if any contemplation time was given. But no, there is no reasoning here, there is no stopping to think if it was really intended in the way it is interpreted. Straight to anger and upset with immediate effect.

It exhausting. Not to mention  upsetting. It seems to last too and more often than not I find myself apologising, even though I’m the  one who is absolutely broken by the experience. It will be that has to forget my own hurt to make it all better. It will be my fault.

So I do wonder, are some personalities just more fiery together?  Are some people just more aggressive than others in relationships?  ( I think absolutely yes)  Is there a right or wrong way to respond to issues in relationships?  Do some of us just cut each other some more slack?

Is the mere fact that you can be bothered to argue a sign that you both care more about the relationship and the amount that you have invested?

Or more worryingly, is it just a sign that you are not compatible at all?

via Daily Prompt: Dash

5 thoughts on “Does the passion cause the fight?

  1. “Are some personalities just more fiery together?”
    Unequivocably yes.
    My ex and I would have huge, dramatic blow ups that were exhausting and upsetting, like you describe. Of course that relationship was a brutal one, whereas I’m sure yours is a lot more healthy, but as someone who would never usually be described as fiery…. I was fiery af in that relationship, mostly because there was gaslighting and crazy-making stuff happening and I had no idea how to even handle it. I was young, and hurt, and in trying to drag the relationship into healthier terrain I would turn into a wounded animal, basically.

    Now, with Scrubs, we almost never fight. Really never. If you’d asked me before we got together, I would say that’s just something people say, but here we are eight years later and still crazy in love, so… I guess it’s not. It’s possible to have different kinds of relationships with different people. I don’t think I’ve ever had a massive meltdown with Scrubs because he’s never given me any reason to doubt him. I trust him. I feel like we both put each other first. I think the insane fights I’d have with my ex happened yes, because I loved him, but more so because he made me feel insecure. Sometimes I think he made me feel insecure on purpose, because of his own insecurity.

    At one point, I remember my dad patting me on the soulder and saying, “Life isn’t easy, this is true, but it’s not supposed to be this hard.”

    I’m sorry that you’re fighting. It’s draining. It wears you down and makes your soul feel heavy. I think maybe just think about why you’re fighting. Look past the superficial reasons at why those things are triggering anger or sadness or upset. See if there’s a way it can be calmed.

    Hoping you can lessen the stress soon. x

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Relationships have their challenges from time to time. Sometimes, couples argue that they are argue too much while others argue that they don’t argue at all – often questioning whether that’s healthy or not to never have fights.

    Relationships are often a choice that we make to be with the other person. Therefore in order for it to be successful each participant must be willing to communicate, must be willing to compromise and must respect each other.

    Disagreements will arise but it is how you choose to deal with them that help strengthen or weaken a relationship. No too relationships are alike just as no two people are exactly the same. Appreciate each other and value what ties you together and respect the stuff that makes you individuals.

    Sometimes if we want to be in a relationship, we must be willing to do the work. I hope this rambling was in some way helpful. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Becareful with confusing Passion for caring more …it is about the goal of the relationship. Sometimes people argue because someone isn’t getting their way and will be willing to fight to control the tone of the relationship. That isn’t passion. Sometimes both parties are not mature and that causes fights …that isn’t passion. Other times one or both are stubborn even when they both know they are wrong …that also isn’t passion so my point is the zest for life the zest for fun the zest to be happy in the relationship you are in with the one you are with and both of you meet each other’s needs. That is Passion.

    Liked by 1 person

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