Blogger · Inspiration-2 · Love · relationships

And still I wait ..

Ever  begged someone not to go and they went  anyway?

I don’t mean forever, just for the evening or for a trip or for a break. But somewhere you wanted to go with them too, or you just didn’t want to be without them for an extended period of time.

I did. He went anyway, I knew he would. He absolutely should have too, I don’t blame him.  Was it worth it for him? I don’t know. It was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime. But it ended up challenging. It was hard as hell for me.

I didn’t enjoy the photographs, or the social media. I could barely cope with the panic calls or the need for support, how did I not shout ” you chose to go, you deal with it”? I wanted him home. I had never felt such exclusion or so far away from part of him. Did I ever stop supporting him? no. Did I ever ask him to come home? no. Did I support his dreams and aspirations regardless of how I felt? yes.

And still, he won’t choose me. Can’t choose me. I’m  running out of ideas to make it happen.

I’ll just have to wait, but the decision will never be timely enough.

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15 thoughts on “And still I wait ..

  1. Really well written, I was right there with you, shunning the social media and resenting the calls for help. Not your fault he was over there! 😃🐻

    Liked by 1 person

  2. great emotion… but begging someone not to go is slightly conflicting with your end comments about not asking him to come back. While different in the timeline, are they not the same thing?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are probably right! But I knew he would go and I wanted him to! Selfishly I’d keep him close but that’s not real life is it? We all deserve to be supported in our dreams. I’m allowed to want him to stay aren’t I!!?? Once he was gone it was important that he didn’t come back until it was time, he needed that. Regardless of how much I wanted him here

      Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s one of the hardest things to do. When you are torn between your desire to be with them and letting them do their own thing. It’s hard when it appears that you’ve been forgotten, even when in reality that may or may not be true. Thank you for sharing!!

    Liked by 1 person

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