Now hold up, before we all get into the ins and outs of what type of desire i am talking about here. I am not just talking about desire in a physical sense.
You see, what I think, is that love is complex and tricky because it is driven by our desires. And there are several of them. And they change daily, no hourly, perhaps actually even more. So in order to have a successful relationship we need to get really really good at identifying our partners desires and hopefully matching them up with ours!
My desires. I desire a lot of things from a relationship ( the term ‘high maintenance’ may have been used once or twice) anyway, this is because I am a very emotional person. I would say that 99% of the time, I just desire to be loved. I want to feel wanted and needed and appreciated. But I also want to feel listened to and supported and helped and beautiful. Sometimes also, my desire is to be desired! I want to be looked at like there is no one else in the room, I want to be kissed like no one is watching and I want them to feel the same physical response to being near me that I do to them.
I am not sure if this is a realistic list? Can you share some of your relationship desires with me?
Essentially I think, to make things work, your list of desires need to include wanting to meet the needs of the other person. In an ideal world you’ll do this all the time. But we all know better than that.
But if you always have the desire to try, you’ll always have love and you can do many many things with that.