Blogger · Love · relationships · Uncategorized

What is the language of your relationship? (are you both speaking it?)

I’ve been having a bit of a rough time. You know me, I am a massive advocate of love. I want everyone to have more love in their lives, I feel like it fixes things and makes things glitter. But I have also never underestimated the power of love to destroy and destruct and to hurt.

What i didn’t realise is that you can have so much love in a relationship that you think that you have finally reached a stage with that person where you are both absolutely on the same page. But it turns out. You aren’t.

So you have to have those horrible conversations where one of you completely humiliates themselves explaining what they thought it all meant ( me) and then you have the person who says, actually erm, no ( them ) and then you realise that you have both been floating along in what you consider to be a great happy relationship. But actually, you are both in completely different relationships ( albeit, with each other ) .

Then you have to go back and unpick where all the confusion started. So you outline all the conversations and all the comments and all the discussions that have led you to your ( wrong) conclusion. And it turns out, you might as well have been talking in completely languages to each other, because the same words just don’t mean the same things to you both.

Everything you thought you had, you had actually just misinterpreted. When they explain, it makes sense. But it isn’t what you thought it was. They are still fine, they are getting what they thought they were. But then you feel like you want to make a complaint based on the trade descriptions act. Have you been mis-sold the relationship to this point?

Possibly?

It is easy then to start to question if the other person even hears anything you say in the way you mean it?

You know what, it makes me really sad, but I am just not sure anymore. I still see things I don’t want to, despite so much discussion. I would make changes if the situation was reversed. But then, when you make up a relationship based on what you heard in your language but was spoken in a different one, the reality is never going to be as great as you thought, is it?

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “What is the language of your relationship? (are you both speaking it?)

  1. It’s certainly easy to misinterpret something that our loved one is saying or communicating through gestures and acts of kindness. I feel for you. I myself can love someone so much that I misinterpret them. This tends to happen because once I feel safe with them, I open my heart and start liking them very quickly. But I guess that’s why always having conversations is necessary, right? There’s actually this book/theory called the 5 Love Languages and it is super helpful. I think there’s a test you can do to find out yours online for free, and a newsletter. Maybe look into it. It might help you. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Communication is a bitch.

    I like to think that my communication in the relationship is quite good, but unfortunately Scrubs is a more stoic, silent type and so a lot of the time I find myself overthinking and imagining more than what is actually being said. Luckily I am a catastrophizer so most of the time when the communication is resolved things are actually a lot better than I thought, but it’s still unpleasant to fall into that communication chasm where you’re hearing something other than what’s being said.

    I think communication is one of those things that require constant work. I’m trying to get better at it but it’s slow going!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s