Blogger · Challenges · emotional · Love · relationships · Uncategorized

Is there such thing as individual privacy in relationships?

When you are in a relationship what is the acceptable level of maintained privacy? By this, I mean do you as an individual give away your right to any level of privacy the moment you enter into any kind of exclusive relationship?

Is it just not ok to keep some things to yourself? I would like to point out now that I am not advocating a load secrets. I am just exploring whether or not somehow it suddenly is not ok to require any kind of personal and emotional privacy. Because let me tell you, I absolutely need this. I am still an individual and I refused to abandon my individual needs just because I am in a relationship. Actually, more than that I also want to have relationships with people that understand this, rather than continually challenge it.

Is it ok to have the way your time is spent challenged? or the company you keep? or your aspirations?

Leading on from this, there are few places when we can expect to have complete privacy, I would say that in your own home, you should be fully entitled to personal space. What happens when the line of privacy here is breached? What happens when this sanctuary, this private, comfortable place, suddenly becomes staked out, where you are actually no longer allowed to be you, or to see people or to have a life even in your own home. What happens then? What does that mean?

I started this blog because I was feeling like I was being held a prisoner in my own life, this has never been so applicable to me as now. What is the correct balance between needs of the relationship and needs of the individual and where is the acceptable line of behaviour drawn?

 

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22 thoughts on “Is there such thing as individual privacy in relationships?

  1. In my experience with my own marriage, we really don’t verbally require privacy, it’s just an unspoken rule I suppose. He goes off hunting, or working on a project, that’s his time. If I go into my room, to write, or listen to music while he plays video games, that’s our time. I play video games too, but still. We usually enjoy our time together, and we spend a lot of time together. On rare occasions do we actually want to be alone. We’re weird though.

    We are best friends, on every level. We both are co dependent, but on healthy levels. We need each other, on a deep level. When one isn’t happy, the other is not either. We sense each other’s moods, and we are there for each other. We understand though if we truly mess up, we can and will survive without the other, but we love each other so much, and so deeply we won’t allow that to happen. We communicate our needs, and we make the necessary changes. We don’t ask each other to change our core values, and if we do, it’s strictly for the betterment of the other person. That’s just how we are. We only get involved in each other’s friendships if they are toxic for us, or if they are getting in between our marriage. We put each other first, and in doing so, put each other’s needs as a priority. We may not like each other’s friends and choices, but as long as they are healthy for that person we don’t intervene. We keep personal opinions out of decisions like that. While they may hold some weight in a decision, they aren’t what we rely on, because they can make things messy.

    Like I said though, we’re weird.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes privacy should definitely be respected and only good and honest communication can ensure that but It’s difficult to know where to draw the line to be honest. Does the level of privacy show the level of trust between two people or how comfortable two people are around each other. For instance, does being in a relationship mean your significant other should have the password to your phone? If they don’t, does it mean you don’t trust them or you just want some privacy? Where do you draw the line between lack of trust and just wanting some privacy? Is privacy a trust thing or a comfort thing?

    Sorry for rambling. Really like this topic 🙂

    Lydia x

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I agree with everyone else, relationships require your time together as well as your individual time apart. In a healthy relationship your ENTIRE life shouldn’t morph together. Like you said, we’re still our own people 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. It’s different for everyone, but I feel that everyone should maintain some sort of privacy within a relationship… but this is coming from the girl who is dating her best friend and tells him EVERYTHING! So I guess my stance is: If one feels it necessary to have some privacy within a relationship, then that is his/her prerogative. It’s not something that can be demanded otherwise. Make sense?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think when we are in a relationship, the sanity and fun of it can be maintained only when both are honest to each other. If one of them wants his personal space, then they must convey it to the other person in a more subtle way.
    What is the use of holding someone, if he/she is not with you mentally and emotionally.
    Nice post and it did raise lot of questions in mind. But then again every relationship is unique and it eventually finds its own way.
    Well on a lighter side I know a person who use to say that when you are in a relationship then don’t ask for space, if you want space go to NASA !! 😊😊😉😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think that we can quietly talk about our privacy corner with those close to (or on the way to) us. And as times goes and trust becomes strong, then we can break certain lines in this relationship_ only if we like to do so.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is a great question.

    Privacy in relationships is tricky; on one hand, you have to respect that you have made a commitment to your partner to have a shared life and shared experiences. When done properly, it’s actually a great thing.

    However, we are all still individuals and have an independent narrative, separate (although not hidden) from our partner. Where this gets complicated is that stage in the beginning of a budding new relationship where you want to spend every minute with your partner. It’s a totally normal to want to surround yourself with your new partner, but you have to understand that you’re also setting the stage for that being the acceptable level of privacy; which is probably very little.

    There is a why to find an acceptable balance here though; proper communication. If you feel like your private time is starting to be impeded on, it’s important to express this to your partner. Some feelings may be hurt, as they may feel you’re pushing them away, but it’s your responsibility to explain your situation and feelings in a honest way that leaves you both feeling better.

    The take away here is that privacy is important, but you also must respect your partners desire you be apart of your world. Communicate your feelings and establish healthy boundaries that you both can feel comfortable with.

    Liked by 1 person

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