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It’s a weapon 

Silence. I hate silence. More than that, I hate the way that silence is used as a weapon in relationships. There is nothing more painful or hurtful in my experience. 
I don’t know when things get so bad that there is absolutely nothing to say. Like, all of the good stuff disappears in an instant and is replaced with nothingness. Because that is all you are worth to the person now. Nothing. 

 Sometimes I am incredibly envious of a persons ability to revert to silence in tricky situations. Because I am a talker, I always have been. I can’t just give up, I will always want to talk things through, to explain, to make things better. To fix. 

Do people say nothing at all simply because they don’t know what to say? Or do they just know it’s the best way to make me crazy?!?! Or are they just not bothered enough to make the effort? 

Either way. It’s the worst possible form of punishment in challenging relationship situations. 

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22 thoughts on “It’s a weapon 

  1. I think the key is practice. Don’t look at silence as withholding something, it is an allowing. I can’t tell you how many times I forced myself to shut my mouth, and something amazing happened. My child would share something important, someone would say something profound… give it a try. Even just once a day.

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  2. I’m annoyed when people try to use the silent treatment as a form of punishment. Silence is good if used to pause – reason – and not say something in the heat of the moment that one may later regret. But to cut all communication to prove a point or get someone to cave just sucks. With time I’ve learned to just brush it off and either break the silence, someone has to anyway, or carry on despite the silence not allowing it to phase me. They say that the strength of the relationship’s bond is revealed when the couple is comfortable with silence and doesn’t fight to just fill in the gaps. This filling in the silence part sometimes makes us say all the wrong things.

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  3. I’ve actually done this with a friend recently. She wasn’t listening to what I was actually saying, so I decided to be silent so that I could separate my insecurities from hers and then approach it later. She is like you (and I used to be like this), a talker. But, I’ve realized there comes a time when sometimes silence is the best option. It’s not always used as a punishment.

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