The only craving I seem to have on a regular basis is that of freedom. Sometimes i think back to my early twenties when I was footloose and fancy free and just wish I could rewind. The ironic thing is, at that time, all I wanted was to meet someone to marry and have a family. I was so fed up of the dating cycle, and the constant never being enough, never being ‘the one’. But what I clearly took for granted was the opportunities and the potential for adventure.
Those were the days where I could go out to lunch and get home at midnight the following day, where you didn’t have to plan outings with your friends, it was just a longstanding agreement that everyone would turn up at the same time, same place on a saturday. Now to even get four of five of us in a room together probably takes about 3 months of planning. And then at least one of them ( if not two) will bail out at the last minute.
Adventure comes in different forms these days. But the lack of spontaneity and opportunities is something I miss an incredible amount. I often find myself thinking about what i would be with my freedom if I had some. I can tell you now, the list is utterly endless. I would probably need two, if not three lifetimes to complete it all. There is just so much to do and to experience.
Most of the time this craving means that often i want to shake the people I know, and get them to open their eyes to it all – before it is too late! The fact of the matter is, now I get the occasional taste of freedom, sometimes it satisfies the craving and on other days it barely touches the sides. But I always want more. I want to take off without having to plan everything, I want to make choices for myself, not based on a vote, or being overruled.
People say ‘youth is wasted on the young’ now I don’t consider myself old, but more and more I happen to agree. It’s just that to fully appreciate how great it is to have such a carefree life, you have to have experienced alternatives.