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Who is in charge of our choices?

I have often wondered who it is  that is actually in charge of our choices. I mean, for all intents and purposes i suppose we, as individuals are. But is that actually the case in terms of practical application?

It seems  to me, that we have become an entire society of people who can’t actually make our own decisions without at least considering the impact on others, nine times out of ten we probably even go as far as to ask other people their opinion before we feel comfortable enough to make the choice ourselves. When did we loose the ability to make an individual choice? did we ever have it in the first place?

In relationships of course there is an element of consideration, of thought and of feeling, of, dare i say it, compromise but is this really enough to overturn what it is that we feel and want and require? I am sure that there are many many selfless individuals who will quite happily quash all of their own needs and make their choices based purely on the needs of others. But is this really a good thing in the longer term? Are people doing the same thing for us to counteract it?  Can you maintain that level of self deprivation without waking up one day full of regret and resentment?

What does a sensible approach look like? how do you achieve the perfect medium, where you are making choices for you, without hurting others. In a scenario where everyone involved gets what they want and what they need at the time when they need and they want it.

Do some of us simply lack the confidence required to be in charge of our choices? it is just easier to let others dictate what we do and how we do it? Is sitting back and merely just letting life happen the answer to all of this ?




7 thoughts on “Who is in charge of our choices?

  1. We pften let the others dictate our choice. The latest phone, the latest songs..we are influenced by our environment. I am at the moment on a journey to a new chapter in my life. May sound silly to some, to me its important. I have to choose..
    Anyway. An interesting talk on Ted about The Paradox of Choice.


  2. In my personal experience, making choices, or the ability to make your own choices, is heavily influenced by upbringing. If you come from an authoritarian home, it can be difficult to learn how to make your own choices because choices are made for you in those environments. Whereas in less rigid home environments, you are able to make your own choices.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. So I agree with everyone’s comments. I’ll add that in society, it seems to be rebellious to make your own choices. Someone is always there to push you back in line with following the crowd or what they think should be. It takes a strong person to actually make choices and stick with them. By the way…I stopped compromising in relationships. I honestly don’t see the purpose for compromise as long as you attract the types of people you want in your life. (Sorry for the diatribe but this struck a nerve).

    Liked by 1 person

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