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Understanding – is it simple?

Harper Lee wrote:

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.’

and in response to today’s Daily prompt Understanding i have been thinking about what it really means to truly ‘get’ someone. Or to even ‘get’ yourself and what you have to do to get there.

We spend so much of our time running around, we lack the time and potentially the patience, to slow down enough to really think, to consider, to understand, what makes a person happy, what makes us happy, fulfilled, sad, anxious, determined, contented. If we had the time, we might go further, to try to know what part we play in this, what effect we have, it might be none. It might be profound.

I think there are people that are relatively easy to understand, especially if you share common interests and they are confident and outgoing people, I have talked before about what it is like to be an open book and if this is a better approach than to  be more guarded. certainly it is more of a challenge to attempt to truly understand someone who is more reserved but i can’t help but think if you do manage to finally perforate the exterior of these people, the reward of the relationship is even sweeter. Because it’s rarer, you probably share them less, as others haven’t made the effort, or merely been unable to process the information enough to make the connection.

The key question for me i guess is, to really  understand a person, do you have to understand everything about them? or are some things more important that others? Do we have to do as Harper suggested and look at the world from their point of view? or is an element of mystery good? can you have a successful relationship with someone when you only understand some aspects of their being?

To understand me, you would have to know the things that make me happy ( My favourite things), you would have to be mindful of the things that scare me, know that sometimes i require reassurance, to not take that personally. It’s not a reflection of the individual, it’s a reflection of me, sometimes i need it spelt out. Someone said to me once ‘how can you even think i’m not crazy about you’ and my response was ‘because you’ve never told me’. On the surface i think it probably appear relatively high maintenance. But the people who truly understand me and the person i am, realise that actually all you need to understand about me is that i like to know where i stand. Too much mystery can be a bad thing. In my experience.

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