‘You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you’ wrote Jane Austen, though this declaration of love from Mr Darcy to Elizabeth Bennet was completely unexpected. In fact she had little regard for the man, who was rude and quite frankly disliked. We all know how this ends, but she wasn’t prepared to hear it then. Not even a bit.
But whilst working my way through this classic, I have been thinking about how different the whole process is now. But one similarity remains. There are the people that are open and then there are the people that are not.
I have always found that I am pretty open, like if I was totally into someone I think they would probably know all about it. If I was to make some insane Austin-like statement to someone ( I wouldn’t – it would be too scary) , it wouldn’t catch them off guard, it would merely be clarification of what they probably suspected in the first place. I mean, ,the downside would be the lack of drama, of surprise, the lack of momentary passion. But instead you get what you get. There is a constant, it’s reliable I guess. There are few nasty surprises. You always know where you stand. You have all the information you need to make the important decisions.
So what makes people be the opposite? is it not harder to behave in such a way that people sometimes aren’t sure whether you are coming or going? Does the constant questioning drive you bonkers? Because people have no idea where you are so you always have to be providing clarity? Are people like this because they don’t know? or just because they are more guarded, cautious maybe? I envy this at times. Sometimes I just wish I could be more mysterious, like my face could portray a completely different story to how I feel inside? I feel like it would help in many situations. Like if you are really annoyed or angry and you can’t be, your face is calm and collected, you are raging inside. But people wont notice. You remain under the radar. Safe. Un-noticed.
I wonder if you can train yourself to be different, I guess people do shut down in certain situations, but I am not sure I am one of those. I think I need to rein it in. Maybe the downside is the openness is the fact that sometime not everyone wants to know everything – there is such a thing as over sharing. So they say.