Is it always better to be the one who is loved more, or the one who loves more? I don’t think there are many relationships where the amount of love is equal. Although i would imagine that this delicate balancing act is almost always changing as time moves along.
The pro’s of being the one who is in deeper, who cares more, who is more passionate and who gives there entire being. Is just that. There is nothing more exhilarating than that. The excitement, the extreme highs of being with that person, the way you feel when you spend time with them, like the reward for all your effort is the thrill of romance and lust. The cons, however, are vast. The potential for hurt, for disappointment, for upset and for heartbreak are magnified. This doesn’t even start to include the levels of humiliation that you will suffer, being that person, who couldn’t keep a hold on it, who dived in head first.
So what’s it like to be the one who is loved more. I would say it’s safe. Though you have the potential to be the one causing the upset and the disappointment, it is never you that will be the one to suffer, when (IF) it all comes to an end. You will probably be able to surface back into the real world unscathed and after a minor period of re-adjustment move on. If you are lucky (? ) you can go again into a relationship where you absorb the adoration. But aren’t you missing out? is the safe option really the dull, boring option? like wouldn’t it just be a but ‘meh’ to go your whole life without experiencing this ultimate thrill?
I have just conducted a small survey in my office environment ( alright, i instant messaged one person but you get the idea) and their thought is that the person who loves more gets paranoid and the person who is loved more gets bored . They have gone on to say that If the person who loves more has self confidence, then that position is sustainable……but the question is how the person who loves more longer term can’t start to wonder if the more loved person ‘settled’ for them, is looking out for something exciting themselves?
So i am starting to feel like neither of those options sound good to me. How can you keep a balance. Can a relationship really work when things are always a little bit one-sided? If you search forever will you ever find the one person where the emotion and trust and friendship is 50/50?
What are your thoughts? leave me a comment and let me know ….